How do you do. I am Diana Moon Glampers,
Your handicapper general. If you know of anyone
who can do something better than you can, it is
your duty to report that person to my office at
once. We want to handicap him fast, so he won't
make you or anybody feel inferior ever again.
Wherever you live, no matter what time of
day or night, simply dial one-seven-seven-six.
Tell the operator who it is that is making you feel
like something the cat drug in. We'll cream him.
We'll settle his hash.